When Old Patterns Loosen

Practice can release energy locked in old conditioning, and it helps to let this energy spread evenly through the whole body. Otherwise it can concentrate, stagnate, tip into imbalance, and feed more reactivity. My experience has been that the breaking up of deeply entrenched reactive patterns happens unpredictably and can take years, decades, or a lifetime. As patterns fall apart, all kinds of experiences can arise: clarity, intensity, agitation, vulnerability, confusion—even feelings of craziness.

This guided meditation from A Trackless Path I has been very helpful to me over the years because it takes us through an energy dispersion practice that can help to balance unruly energy. I’ve found this practice immensely valuable, not just on retreats, but also as part of daily practice when life feels like a rollercoaster or like riding a wild horse. Ken McLeod explains this in great detail in When Energy Runs Wild.

I've found that when a part of a deeply conditioned pattern is dissolving or releasing, it doesn't need interpretation. It needs space, patience, and a way for the energy to redistribute itself. As Ken says, "It is best to move in the direction of balance."

From A Trackless Path I, 15

Ken: So, let’s just let the mind settle. Body on the cushion. Mind in the body. And relaxation in the mind.

[Bell]

I’m going to take you through an energy dispersion exercise for balancing energy at the end of sitting practice—often helpful in retreat situations or intensive practice situations.

So, let the body settle. Let the breath settle. And let the mind and heart settle. [Pause]

Then let your attention drop to the dantien, the center of your body, four fingers below your navel, a couple of inches in front of your spine, right in the center of your body. And feel energy gathering there.

You may feel that part of your body getting a little heavier. Maybe there’s a slight kinesthetic sensation. Maybe you have your own way of experiencing energy. Just feel energy collecting there, following the general principle of energy follows attention. [Pause]

Let your attention widen. And feel the energy spreading from the dantien throughout lower torso, and abdomen. Up into the upper abdomen and chest. Down into the pelvic region and the legs. Right down the legs to the toes, feet and toes. Now into your arms and down into your hands and right up into your head. Energy spreading gently, smoothly, through the whole body. [Pause]

And then feel the energy coming out of the pores of your skin all over your body, evenly, so that you come to be sitting in a field of energy that extends two or three inches beyond your body. Top and bottom, front, back, both sides, all over. And just sit for a few minutes in that field of energy. [Pause]

Then let it go. And rest for a minute or two. [Pause]

And again, bring your energy to the center of your body. Four fingers below the navel and a couple of inches in front of your spine, and feel energy gathering there again. [Pause]

And again, feel the energy spreading all through your torso and abdomen up into the chest, down into the pelvis, into the arms and legs and up into your head. [Pause]

So energy spreads evenly through your whole body. And feel the energy coming out of the pores of your skin, in front of your body and the back, top of the head, bottom of your legs and feet, arms, so you come to be sitting in a field of energy that extends two or three inches away from your body. [Pause]

Then let it all go and just rest. [Pause]

And once more, feel energy collecting in the dantien. Let it spread through all your body, abdomen, the torso, arms, legs, head. [Pause]

Feel it come out of the pores of your skin. And you’re sitting in a field of energy that extends two or three inches away from your body, evenly all over your whole body. And just rest there. [Pause]

[Three bells]

Now this is a simple dispersion exercise. As I said before, dispersion here doesn’t mean dissipating the energy. It means spreading it uniformly through the whole system so that imbalances are evened out, it doesn’t stagnate anywhere, cause problems. You can use this dispersion exercise after periods of meditation just to balance energy. And it’s particularly useful in retreat settings like this where one’s been practicing a lot. The level of energy has been raised. Sometimes imbalances have set up in the course of the day. But spread this out and it may help one to sleep more easily and peacefully rather than being a bit wired.

This is quite a safe technique. There are no inherent dangers in it that I know of. And if you’re feeling very high states of energy, you can extend it further than two or three inches. You can take it out six inches, or even six feet or more. So you just have this feeling of being in an even field of energy which is commensurate with what you’re feeling. And you’ll know how far to take it out by how you feel. It’s when you just begin to settle and feel in balance that will tell you that that’s the right distance to take it. And again, you’re not removing energy from your body, you’re creating a larger and larger field. So, again I want to emphasize this isn’t about dissipating the energy, but dispersing it so that it can balance out.

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Six Mornings, Six Worlds: A Guided Meditation

This long, guided meditation on the six realms, offered by Claudia Hansson, reflects ordinary, everyday experience: alarms, coffee, traffic, work, family. Long before anything significant happens, we may have already settled into a particular way of meeting life, and the world takes shape from there.

Each realm can be sensed first in the body: heat, tightening, hunger, dullness, ache, surge, ease. From there, the world appears in a corresponding way: hostile, insufficient, flat, fragile, competitive, or perfectly ordered. Lightning fast, the realm is already in place, shaping what can be seen, felt, and responded to.

Anger projects a world of opposition, greed a world of lack, instinct a world organised around survival, desire a world of enjoyment, jealousy a world of competition, and pride a world of superiority and certainty. The emotion and the world arise together. When a reactive emotion is operating, the world appears in a way that seems to confirm it. Lurching from one realm to into another, as we do all the time, makes their fluidity obvious. I like to think of the six realms not as identities, but as whole worlds of experience projected by reactive emotions. These arise and pass, often many times in a single day.

The striving that comes with a realm keeps it going—pushing against, grasping for, shutting down, chasing enjoyment, proving oneself, or maintaining position. The practice is to recognise which realm is operating, without judgement and without perpetuating the striving. No counter-move or improvement strategy is needed. When the striving drops, the realm loses its power. Recognition doesn’t vanquish the realm, but it can loosen whether it takes over and how completely.

From Monsters Under the Bed 5

Claudia: As Ken mentioned, what I’m going to do is try to do a guided meditation with you. So, I’d like you to get into a posture that’s comfortable. For this, I would recommend probably closing your eyes. [Pause]

So, let’s begin simply by moving our attention to the breath. Feeling the body come to rest. Feeling relaxation in your shoulders, in your arms. Noticing and experiencing the breathing happening in the body: how the breath moves, naturally on its own. You don’t need to control it. Finding its own pace. Now we’re going to shift our attention, keeping the breath in our awareness.

We’re going to imagine beginning our day in the hell realm. The alarm goes off; that’s your first irritant. You slam your hand down on the top of it. The alarm clock falls on the floor. You drag yourself out of bed, take your shower, get dressed. Go to have cereal and open the refrigerator, and one of the kids drank the last of the milk. You feel in the pit of your stomach a fire starts to burn. Your body starts to tighten up. You slam the refrigerator door, grab a piece of toast, and out the door you go.

You get in your car. You notice it’s raining. That really pisses you off. It’s going to slow the traffic down. You make your way to the closest Starbucks to grab some coffee. You’re standing in line. There’s a high school kid in front of you. A bunch of the kid's friends walk in the door and join ahead of you in the line. [Laughter] Now the fire in you just surges up. [Laughter] The world is out to get you. You finally get your coffee.

You get in your car. You grip the wheel. You feel tightness in your chest. Your shoulders are rigid. You try to keep a space between you and the next car because it’s raining. And every time you have a space, somebody cuts in right in front of you. You know they think they’re better than you.

You make your way to work. You get to work. And of course, the person that you least want to see is right in your face. And so you begin your day rigid, stuck–body angry and hot. Nothing is very pleasant about this life.

So, take a couple breaths. We’re going to begin the day again, shifting to the hungry ghost realm. The first thing you hear in the morning is one of the kids yelling, “Where’s the cereal? I can’t find the cereal! We’re out of milk!” Right away there’s kind of a wrenching. You feel your day hasn’t even begun and somebody wants something from you. You need a little peace and quiet. You have a sense you’re not going to get it. While you’re in the shower, your partner comes in, tries to have a conversation with you. Complaining that you’re spending too much time at work, “We’ve got to have a conversation about things.”

You just want to get to work, but all these people want something from you. You feel a deep hunger in your body already, and the day has barely begun. You get in the car to go to work. You just really want a little peace. Everybody around you wants something from you. You get to the Starbucks. All the kids—happy, talking—they don’t pay attention to you. They’re not going to give you the time of day. A person in line at the Starbucks screws up your coffee drink; that’s not going to help fill you up very much.

The need in your body is starting to ache. Your need is growing stronger as you jump in the car. Nothing seems to make you feel full. It’s like your life is a bottomless pit. Everyone around you wants something from you, and you can’t get what you need. You feel the strain as you get in the car to drive. You go to pull into a parking place; somebody beats you in. They even want your parking place now. You are hungry. You just want to get your coffee, get to work, do your job, and even that isn’t working very well.

The first thing in the door at work somebody comes at you with a pile of work that they want done. You want to explain that you need some time to catch up on all the backlog at work. But you know it’s hopeless. You’re never going to get caught up. You’re never going to feel like it’s done. That need is just going to keep growing. And that’s the way your day is.

So, take another breath or two. Now we’re going to be shifting into the animal realm. Your alarm goes off. You turn it off. It’s just another day. You feel, “Oh well, I’ve got to survive here. Nothing very interesting going on.” You take your shower. You eat the same thing every day for breakfast. You go outside and you notice it’s raining. “Oh well.”

You get in your car. You drive to Starbucks. You don’t even notice that the school kids are jamming in line in front of you. You just want your coffee. Your body feels heavy, dull, nothing coming in, nothing going out. You’re just doing what you have to do. You can’t feel your heart. You can’t feel much of anything.

You pretty much ignore everything that’s going on around you. You put your body in autopilot, and you drive to work. You don’t know what you passed. You don’t even notice when somebody pulls in front of you. If you need to put on the brakes, you put on the brakes. You can’t really afford to have your car wrecked, so you do what you have to do to survive here.

You manage to get yourself safely to work. The same people are there, day after day. The same annoyances. “Oh well.” Your body’s just kind of numb. You don’t really care much one way or the other. You just do what you have to do to survive from moment to moment.

Take another breath. Now we’re going to begin in the human realm. You wake up in the morning. You go to give your partner a hug. Just want to feel that connection with that person. And they kind of stiffly hug you back and say, “I had a really bad night.” [Laughter] And right away, you notice a little ache in your heart. It’s like, “Well, that didn’t feel very good.”

But that’s kind of the way it is in the human realm. If you have kids, you send them off to school. They’re already fighting. You look up at the sky and you notice it’s raining, and you say, “Well, I’m glad it’s raining. It’s been dry around here. Feels kind of good.” And you get in your car, and the first thing you notice is there’s a bad accident on the road from the rain. And a sadness moves over you, sinks into your body. You know somebody’s suffering. You feel some empathy that somebody’s life is going to be messed up for a while one way or the other.

You go to the nearest Starbucks. You have a clerk there that you kind of feel a connection with. So you kind of like that person. You have a little conversation with him. And they do a better job of making your coffee drink, so you really like to have them wait on you. So you pace yourself so that person’s going to be the one, so you can have that little conversation that makes you feel good in the morning. And a bunch of the school kids come jamming in the door and kind of screw up your whole plan. And you get the other clerk that isn’t very friendly and that doesn’t make you such a great drink.

You sigh, and you feel that in your body. You missed that connection. There’s a little bit of sadness there. You get in the car. The commute traffic’s really bad, people are jamming in all around you. You can feel yourself kind of getting frustrated with the whole situation. But you know, that’s kind of the way it is. Some days are better; some days are really crummy.

You get to work. And you have people that you really care about at work that you’re really connected with. And one of those people comes up to you and says, “I need to talk to you for a few minutes.” Sits down and tells you that they’re moving on. They’re going to move out of town. They’re going to be quitting their job, and they’re going to be going away. You feel in your body right away that sense of loss. You know it’s hard to keep those friendships active when people leave. Your heart aches a little bit. You start grieving before the person even leaves.

And that’s the way it is in the human realm. You want those connections. You want to have a little fun, a little enjoyment in life. But nothing is permanent and things constantly keep shifting. And a lot of sadness flows in and through your body.

So, take another breath. Now we’re going to begin the day in the titan realm. You wake up. This is an important day. You need to get to work. You’re going to be doing a presentation. And you’re going to be really good at it, because you want that next promotion. So you’re all business this morning. You get yourself dressed and you pick your clothes just right, so you’ll look really good. You grab something quick to eat. You notice it’s raining, but you’re not concerned. You know you can handle that. You feel strong. Your body feels good. You feel a sense of power moving through your body.

You get in your car. You notice there’s maybe an accident on the road. And you think, “Well, those people probably weren’t paying attention. But I’m careful, I can do this.” You get to Starbucks to get your coffee. Bunch of school kids start to cut in on you. You just walk right in front of them. [Laughter] You’re powerful. You’re not going to put up with that. You get your coffee. You make sure it’s made the way you want it. Because you tell the clerk that’s making your coffee exactly the way you want it—so it’s right.

You get behind the wheel of your car. You feel good. You feel strong. And then you look over in the lane beside you, and you see somebody with a brand new, beautiful Lexus convertible. And there’s a little pain that rises up, cause you know you’re not quite at the top yet. You’re good. And you’re going to do it. But that person, they probably’ve got it. So there’s a little bit of envy that starts to move in your body. And you can feel that. It’s like a burning desire.

You want it all. This is a juicy world. And you want to get it. So, you’re moving with all the energy you can bring to force to get what you want. And you’re pretty much going to step on anything in your way. So, there you are in the rain in your car. Somebody starts to hedge in. “Oh no, that’s not happening in my lane!” You step on the gas, and you move forward. And you feel that surge of pleasure that comes up when you’ve done it. You aced them out! And it feels really good.

You get to work. And you get ready for your presentation. And another person who’s doing a presentation the same day—and you know they’re your competitor—and you look to see what they have. And notice that one of their ideas is pretty good. So, you tell them, “Oh, that’s, yeah, that’s good.” You don’t say too much. But when you get in to do your presentation, you just casually bring out that idea into your presentation. You steal their thunder, and you do it really well. So when they get ready to make theirs, they’ve sort of lost their little pitch. When it’s over, you feel really good because you know you were the shining star that day. And that’s how your day goes in the titan realm.

Take one more breath. Move into the god realm. You don’t have an alarm clock. The cook’s already in the kitchen, taking care. The nanny’s dealing with the children. You don’t have to worry about that. You just wake up naturally in the morning. You run the company. So you get in when you feel like getting in. You feel a sense of real luxury around you. You take your time getting dressed. You have a huge walk-in closet. Lots of shoes and lots of clothes to choose from. You take whatever you need, whatever you want. You’re very confident. You know that what you do is really good. You get yourself dressed.

You get in your luxurious car. Or if you don’t feel like driving, you have your personal assistant drive you to work. When you get to work, you run this company. Your decision is always the right decision. You’re confident and you know it. In your body there’s a sense that you’re just on top of the world. You don’t notice who works around you. You don’t have to go to Starbucks, because people bring you coffee. So you don’t have to stand in any lines.

This is the god realm. Everything is wonderful. And you feel that surge all through your body. You’re right. You know it. You don’t have to listen to anybody else. And you don’t. And that’s the way your day is in the god realm.

Take a few moments to come back to your breath. And gently open up.

---

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Profound Radiance: A Guided Meditation

In this talk on the Heart Sutra Ken takes students through a guided meditation intended to elicit the experience of Profound Radiance, the absorption that the Buddha entered on Vulture Peak. Meanwhile, as the sutra relates, "through the power of the Buddha" Shariputra asked noble Avalokiteshvara how to train for practicing the perfection of wisdom.

The first time I heard this guided meditation, a shockwave hit. How could an ordinary person ever hope to experience Profound Radiance? Only later did I understand that this becomes possible through the power of a skilled teacher.

Ken presents this meditation very frequently, in many classes and retreats, often calling it "the primary practice."

From Heart Sutra Workshop

So here's Buddha. He's meditating. And notice the situation: they're perched on a mountaintop, which is a place that actually exists in India. I've been there. And he's surrounded by monastics and bodhisattvas.

And he entered an absorption, called Profound Illumination or Profound Radiance—it's translated in different ways—in which all elements of experience are present.

How many of you know this absorption? How many of you would like to know this absorption?

So let's spend a few minutes.

Now if you're going to have all elements of experience, it's probably better if you have your eyes open so you aren't shutting things out. So start just by sitting and resting with something we all know, resting in the experience of breathing. [Pause]

Now generally when we rest in the experience of breathing the first thing we become aware of is the sensation of the breath through the nostrils. But that's only part of the experience of breathing. You may also notice that the breath flows through one or other of the nostrils more than the other, maybe the temperature is slightly different. You may also notice a sensation, a cool sensation at the back of your throat when you breathe in. Movement of the lungs and the chest. Movement in the diaphragm and stomach. So just experience all of that. [Pause]

You may also experience your back moving, a little bit. When you breathe in the body straightens up, a little bit. When you breathe out it bends forward, a little bit. It may only be a couple of millimeters. [Pause]

You may notice that your head moves accordingly, the chin moves very slightly up and down. Whoever said that meditation was actually sitting still? [Pause]

There may be other sensations taking place in your body connected with breathing. Experience all of them. You may find your attention moving from one sensation to the other. You don't need to do that, you can experience them all at the same time. [Pause]

So experience all the tactile and kinesthetic sensations associated with breathing. [Pause]

Then include a bit more. All of the tactile and kinesthetic sensations associated with your body. Sensation of clothes touching your body. The sensation of your body sitting, sensations of your hands and feet touching or interacting with each other. In addition to that all of the sensations connected with breathing. Just experience all of it. All at the same time.

You may find that your attention collapses down on one or other thing, and as soon as you notice that, just expand from that thing you are focusing on to include everything connected with breathing and your body. So just sit there for a few moments in the experience of breathing. [Pause]

But our sense of the organ of the body is only one of the five senses, there is also sight. So as you sit there in the experience of breathing you could also include everything that is in your field of vision. From where I sit that's the faces and bodies and clothes of all of you. All of the details of the thangkas and the glittering of the brocade that frames the thangkas, the lights, the ceiling, the floor, the windows, the walls. That's all part of the experience of breathing; it's all part of what we experience right now. [Pause]

Also include the sound of my voice and the sound of the traffic, just include everything. The feelings of your body when you breathe and all of the other sensations that arise in any of the senses.

You sit in a field of sensory experience. [Pause]

And you may notice as you sit in this field that there are other elements of experience. Maybe some thoughts arise because of the honking outside: "I wish it would go away," and there are feelings of dislike or displeasure. Maybe there are other thoughts, other emotions. In other words there is all this internal stuff that goes on too. So just include that: the sensations of the body, all the other senses, thoughts, feelings, sensory sensations, emotional sensations, cognitive sensations—we call those thoughts. Don't push any of it away, don't organize or understand any of it; just experience it all. And whenever you find yourself collapsing down on one thing, just expand back and include everything. You don't have to actually sit still to do this, you can let your eyes move gently and slowly around the room; taking in all the visuals but including the body sensations included in that.

So here we are in a field of experience: sensations, thoughts and feelings. You sit in this way long enough and you begin to wonder what outside and inside mean. So maybe we could just let those go and have this field of experience. [Pause]

Now, open your heart to this field of experience. Some of you may say, "What does that mean?" But you know what it is to open your heart to your spouse, or your partner or your child. So you just do the same thing with what you are experiencing. Just open your heart. [Pause]

So you have all of the physical sensations and all of the sensory sensations and all of the internal material: the thoughts and feelings and so forth and you have an open heart. [Pause]

Now in a moment I am going to suggest a question. I don't want you to answer the question, I simply want you to pose the question to yourself. When you do this, you'll probably experience some kind of shift. When you experience that shift just include that experience, too, with everything else.

So physical sensations, the breathing, all the sensation with the body, all the other sensory sensations: sight and sound, taste and smell. All the mental and emotional sensations: thoughts and feelings. The whole field of experience which we experience with an open heart.

The question is, "What experiences all this?"

As I say don't try to answer the question, just experience the shift and then include the experience of the shift with everything else.

What experiences all this? [Pause]

[Three strikes of the gong]

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